No More Mind Wandering

Oh man-I’m SO excited to share this month’s meditation and theme with you. I’m super passionate about how much it can help you- maybe that year of A Course In Miracles training had more of an impact than I realised!!

OK- One of the things I chat on about a lot is how really there are two key things that matter perhaps most when it comes to living happily….

The first is do something each and every day that ‘lines you up’, what this really means is get your mind clear, tune in to what’s inside, the stuff you know ‘deep down’, the wisdom that’s your birthright.

The second is to resolve to catch your mind as often as you can when you notice it wandering from this North Star, and bring it back.

These words are simple and like everything, it’s easy to say! Of course for reals it takes a little effort, BUT it’s SO worth it, and really you CAN do it! You just need to start with the decision that you want to feel good and become decided…..

I’m going to outline here many of the types of ‘mind wandering’ we get caught up in, to help you become aware. Because awareness is key, if you’ve no clue what you’re doing, you’ve no hope in terms of quitting!!

Here you go:

Worry- I describe this as the most obvious form of mind wandering. As and when you worry ask either of these questions to redirect your focus:

What might happen instead? Or

What do I need to hear?

Future tripping….you know the old zooming ahead in your mind, over-thinking, and creating imaginary scenarios in your mind that you can’t do anything about, because they don’t exist! This is so unhelpful. As and when you notice you’re here, bring your mind back to the here and now. Eckhart Tolle suggests becoming aware of your own presence by focusing on something as simple as how your hands feel, seeing if you can sense their energy. You can also pose the question: ‘What problem do I have here and now’? Or, tell yourself something like: ‘I’ll deal with that when I get there‘. ‘I don’t need to think about that now’ is another goodie. Truth is, the best you can bring to any situation is you, calm, present and solution oriented…and future tripping creates the opposite of this state!!

Comparison….what I say about this is ‘it’s the kiss of death to joy’. While many of these types of mind wandering aren’t overtly negative, they also aren’t the highest form of focus you can rest in, and over time they create stress, they stop you functioning at your best. Pretty much any kind of comparison is unhelpful- even seemingly harmless thoughts such as ‘my son is more shy than my daughter’, or ‘the chicken was more moist last week’. I know this sounds uber picky but really this is the work! Instead of comparing, get used to focusing on the positive aspects of whatever you’re looking at, and it will really help you in the happiness stakes.

Putting pressure on..is another form of resistant thinking. You soul doesn’t exert pressure. It speaks the language of ease, and timelessness…and the more you align with this, the more you allow your natural exuberance and joy for life to spring forth. What you can achieve from here far outweighs what you’ll manage on the back of pressure.

Being tough on yourself….is the same kind of deal. This angle doesnt line you up with your highest wisdom. From this perspective you’re ever perfect and growing into more, being harsh or tough fly in the face of this take.

Dramatic language…..if you’ve ever worked with me you’ll have noticed I’m big on this one!!! I coach my clients to ‘say it better’, to soften their language, lighten their tone. Words like horrific, horrendous, hideous etc are out. I’m not even a fan of ‘big’, like you’re off to ‘big school’, or I’ve got a ‘big talk’ coming up…..can you feel what this kind of chat does to your emotions? Your muscles? How you breathe? Your. words. matter! And changing your language is one of the easiest ways to make life easier for yourself.

Trying hard….erm this isn’t the vibe of your soul. Sure, when you’re aligned with your soul you may well be working, focused on achieving etc. But you won’t be straining, struggling, trying! You’re more effective with less effort. In alignment you do, you don’t try.

Guilt…..just another form of negative focus. Sure, it can be helpful to take action, to make amends if you’ve wronged someone, or acted in a way you’re not proud of. But guilt? Sitting here simply perpetuates the same kind of scenario that your guilt springs from. Soothe yourself when you’re here…

Arguing with reality….oh man, this is SO dumb! And we all do it!! I describe it as being like a toddler, having a fit, just doing it internally (or sometimes maybe not!!) Truth is, arguing with what is, focusing on it, moaning about it, just keeps you stuck with it!! We don’t mean it, but this is how it works. Know that what you make peace with, you allow to pass. Or, like Tolle says: ‘what you accept you go beyond’. This notion messes with our human minds, but it’s oh so true. Lean into acceptance, and making peace, and the stuff of life you don’t dig will pass more quickly, with greater ease, will scathe you much less.

Trying to figure stuff out….OK this is another mind-blower! Us humans like to fix stuff, figure things out, to get to the bottom…..truth is, problems don’t have bottoms! And trying to figure stuff out stops you getting into the mindset from where you’re able to perceive the very solutions you seek. Again this feels counter intuitive, but it isn’t counter productive. When you’re here, re-focus yourself as much as you can to get off topic, distract, know that the answers you seek will find YOU when you’re in alignment, when you’re feeling good, when you surrender…THIS is the real work, not opening cans of worms and trying to sort through the wriggling mess!

OK-that’s it for now….. I’ve mentioned the main ones….but this topic is a biggie so I’ll be covering it more in lives and weekly emails.

My friend, please know, I used to have a mind filled with anxious, scary, and sad thoughts, but today I really don’t. And I know if I can do this work, so can you! My mind is stubborn, my thoughts deep and obsessive, and I’ve managed to re-train and re-focus my brain- you can do it too.

With so much love,

Zofie x