Sleep Deeply

Hey my lovely,

I’m SO excited to chat on this topic with you! I know some of you may well already sleep like babies….but also many of you don’t. And, whatever your current relationship status with sleep, how to get the best quality zeds is something we could ALL do with understanding!

In my coaching work, I’ve seen on repeat, just what a difference ample sleep and downtime makes to people’s mental wellbeing. You might know I work a lot with kids, and it’s super obvious with them! So many of them are just sleep deprived, and don't get chance to chill enough, which results in all kinds of pretty powerful and unhelpful issues such as behavioural challenges, anxiety, anger, and so on. The thing is, kids often don’t have the same filter or social restraint that most of us adults have (much of the time that is, anyway!!!) This means they illustrate clearly what happens to all of us when we don't get enough time between the sheets. Us adults just try to keep it under wraps and cover it up with concealer, coffee, doughnuts, you name it!!

So, here’s what I know for sure about sleep: If you’re not getting off quickly enough, waking in the night, or waking too early, there will be one of two things going on:

The first is not enough down time. Could be your life is full of ‘good stuff’. Don’t matter though my friend! Whether the stuff your life is crammed with is good, bad, or ugly, if there’s too much IT’S A STRESSOR. So, yup, you CAN have too much of a good thing! When you have too much going on, your ‘ancient brain’ takes this as a signal that you’re under threat and one of the net results of this is impacted sleep.

The second reason is too much negativity. This means negative thoughts and interactions. Seeing as most of our negativity comes from an inner mental narrative though, this is the main culprit here. Now sometimes that negativity can be about the sleep issue itself, seeing you in one of those spaces we all love- a vicious cycle (aren’t gentle cycles way funner?! 🤣) Anyway, whether your negativity preceded the sleep issue or vice versa, the fix is still the same. So a focus on trying to figure this out is simply wasted energy! Anytime you find yourself stuck in this kind of rut, simply remember the rule of thumb that ‘keeping off topic’ as much as you can is key.

Which leads me to my tips on how to get out of a ‘can’t sleep’ rut. These are the basics:

Lean into more down time, even just micro moments of peace and ease can help your ancient brain and body get the message that you’re not under threat! Take a look at your schedule, and figure out what you’d be willing to lose if if meant fixing your sleep, and ditch anything you can!

As above, ‘get off topic’ as much as you can! Ever notice how insomniacs talk about sleep like allll the time?! Just like those of us wanting to lose a few pounds are perpetually on a diet and talking about the latest weight loss thang?? Thing is, if you struggle with sleep, a focus on it will simply keep you stuck with your issue. AND talking abut it is a form of negativity for you which further compounds your challenge!

Also, know it’s not just WHAT you do in life that matters, it’s also HOW you approach it. So, for example you can be doing all the ‘right things’ when it comes to a great sleep routine, but if you’re super tense as you do it, your efforts will work against you! I’ve worked with so many folk with sleep issues over the years who religiously do the likes of: leave their mobile phone downstairs are night, drink horlicks before ‘slumber’, spritz their pillow with lavender, quit caffeine at 3pm, get a warm bath, are in bed by 9pm, yada, yada, and guess what?! THEY AIN’T SLEEPING! Why? Because it’s not just WHAT you do that matters, but HOW you FEEL and your intention as you do it! In psychology there’s something called ‘the law of reversed effect’, which simply means ‘the harder you try, the harder it becomes!’ Like I say often, ease is your friend. And this is never more true than when it comes to sleep…….In line with this, my fave Q: ‘How would I feel, and what would I do if I knew everything was going to be OK?’ Is a great tool to add in here also.

On that note, if I could have a pound for every time one of my sleep clients has said to me ‘If ONLY I could get a great night’s sleep….!’ Typically the belief is ‘once my sleep is sorted, everything else will fall into place…’ Thing is though, it’s the other way round! Once you chill, your sleep will fix! You just can’t be waiting on your sleep to sort, in order to kick start YOU feeling better!! Get this and really, you’ve got IT! Side note, this is true for SO MANY THINGS IN LIFE my friend.

Oh, before I go, it’s crazy obvious but I’d be remiss not to mention. The guided meditations in this membership are one of your very best tools in the arsenal against sleep challenges! So please make sure you use ‘em! Sure, you can’t rely on them alone! If your’e listening but then consistenly burning the candle at both ends, and chatting about your insomnia 24/7, they ain’t gonna cut the mustard- give ‘em a chance will you?! 🤣😘 BUT, use them daily, ALONG with the other tips, and you’re on a sure fire path to sleep like a baby- a well-fed, healthy, good sleeping one that is!!

With so much love,

Zofie x