Why Goodbye Hurts and Hello Feels So Good, and What To Do About It!

l’ll give you a clue to the answer here, and it’s one word: focus. Think about it, when you're saying ‘hello’ to something or someone wanted, it might be a new job, a holiday destination or someone you love, then as a rule you're focused in a positive way upon it or them and what you expect to enjoy. On the other hand, when you're saying goodbye to a person or place or thing that you want, your focus is very different. As a rule you'll be thinking about what you're going to miss, how you'll feel minus that person or thing or place, and so on.

If you were saying goodbye to a beautiful holiday destination and at that moment you were looking forward to getting home to see your pets, or friends, or maybe even get back to work, then under such circumstances you wouldn't feel any angst! Similarly, if you were saying hello to a friend who was coming to stay and at that moment you were focused upon the fact that you were going to have to cook for one extra person and you don’t like cooking, or how they might sit in your favourite chair in the sitting room you might not feel as happy or welcoming!

You see, we tend to imagine that it's the stuff of life, what happens to us, where we are, who we are with that causes us to feel good or bad. But the great news is that this simply isn’t the case. Sure, for most of us it may well be easier to relax on a beach in some tropical paradise with millions of pounds in the bank than it might be at work on a Monday morning. But still, our focus has a huge impact. You could, for example, be on the same beach, with plenty of money and be stressing about mosquitos or sunburn or getting attacked by a shark or something! And you could also be at work, on a Monday morning feeling absolute appreciation for your job, colleagues, the office space and so on.

So when you're saying goodbye, if you feel angst you can know that a shift in your focus will shift the angst. And when you're saying hello you can also know that even more focus upon the positive aspects fo your current situation can give you even more joy.

Positive focus is key when it comes to living happily and when you practise this consistenly you reach a point whereby you feel invincible and what life brings you, what others do or think or say becomes irrelevant to you feeling good! It might add to your happiness levels but it becomes powerless in terms of detracting from it :-)

Wishing you well,

Zofie x