Step Back, Take Space ✨

So, a couple of weeks ago I was really lucky and got to experience a one to one session with a Human Design coach whose work I really admire (her name’s Erin Claire Jones if you’re interested.)

I can’t remember when I first heard about Human Design but what I can say is I adore this subject. In short I find it uber helpful which is SO my bag. It’s helped me feel validated and with my own personal growth, it helps me heaps with parenting, also it’s been invaluable with clients, my work, friends, all relationships….

If you don’t know what it is and feel intrigued I highly recommend getting on the googles and beginning some digging. The charts look uber weird and it can get super in depth but please don’t let this put you off, my advice is start with the basics and learn more over time if you enjoy it!

Anyway, Erin told me one thing in that session that has been SUCH a game changer for me and will literally change my life! While the thing she shared didn’t single handedly shift my life long guilt issue, I would say it was the final straw that helped me drop that habit (which for me is HUGE.)

So, in the session she explained that each of us has either a defined or undefined solar plexus in our HD chart. And of course I’m no expert here, just an avid student sharing what I’ve learnt. My basic understanding is this:

If you’re defined you’re designed to have waves of emotions that arise from within, your ‘lesson’ is to learn to take space when your emotions are big and understand that how you feel about things will shift depending on where you’re at with your wave! In other words, give yourself time to decide on stuff! And also know it’s normal for you to have ups and downs, you’re not wrong for these waves! (For me, a massive piece of HD is the permission slip it gives you to be yourself and not be tough on yourself for being who you are…)

If you’re undefined (as am I), you don’t have these waves, instead you’re impacted by the waves of others. You’re natural state is much more ‘level’. The challenge here is you might not realise the ‘stuff’ you feel actually isn’t yours, AND you feel the emotions of others in an amplified way! Our thing is to practise asking ‘Is this emotion mine?’, As well as letting the emotions of others go and not trying to ‘fix’ them when they’re ‘surfing’!

If you’re defined, it’s wise to take space when your emotions run high (as per the theme this month!) This will help you come back to a calmer place without impacting others/making unhelpful decisions in a moment of stress. If you’re undefined it’s similarly wise to take space from a defined person when they’re highly emotional and also to allow you to come back into your own energy.

As a parent, friend, partner if you’re defined it’s the most loving gift to separate yourself from someone who’s undefined when you’re stressed. If you’re undefined you can mirror back the emotions of others as and when they’re open to help them gain further self-awareness. Neither is better or worse, good or bad, just different, and when we operate with compassion of course it makes things so much more enjoyable.

My hope with this is if you’re defined you can learn to make peace with your waves and not be tough on yourself for your ups and downs. And my fellow undefined folk, my prayer is you can take this as I did- as a big fat permission slip to quit taking on stuff that isn’t yours and not feeling guilty as you do.

You can of course find heaps of content on this topic on google-see you there!!!

With so much love,

Zofie x